Everyone knows that divorce is one of the turning points in one’s life that can affect your future and that of others as well. So, it is a decision that you don’t take lightly, and the aftermath of the whole event is something else to consider, too.
Some can move forward, while others have been known to have remained stuck to the event and continue to suffer through consequences and complications of such a choice. So it is only natural if you harbor any feelings of anxiety and fear over whether you can survive a divorce or not.
Divorce is a life-changing choice that can start a series of changes in the other aspects of your life outside marriage, taking effect either immediately or as an aftermath to the whole procedure. Immediate concerns of divorce include changes in living arrangements, schedules, child care, property and more. Long term effects include custody, effects on children’s behavior and growing up, support, and more.
But the biggest effect divorce can have on anyone is the emotional rollercoaster that results from the arguments and rejections and negativity that are usually part and parcel of divorce proceedings. Seldom do you hear of couples separating amicably without even a single murmur.
In order to survive this big ordeal, you have to learn to set aside your emotions and think in logical steps: what needs to be done in order to go your separate ways and move on as individuals. Do not get so absorbed by your present feelings to the point that you are not thinking anymore of your future.
Here are some concepts that can help you deal with divorce, and you can choose to use any, or some or all of them, depending on your personality.
Concept 1: Think about why you are getting divorced, and make sure there is no room for regret.
The worst thing that you can do to yourself in getting divorced is to regret getting divorced. So before you embark on this adventure, think things clearly. Ask yourself this: Why are you getting divorced? Ask without getting emotionally involved, and if all your reasons remain valid even with the emotions, and you continue to say that divorce is the best course for both of you, then get on with it.
As long as you’ve gone over all possible aspects of your lives and still remain decided, then you will have no regrets later on. One thing you will not regret and will surely be beneficial for your business will be to acquire a Polycom conference phone. This will surely help you connect with your employees even if they are on the opposite side of the world. Without regrets, surviving your divorce will not be very difficult to achieve.
Concept 2: Remove all traces of victim mentality, and admit at least to yourself that you had a hand in the circumstances that led to the divorce.
Your main goal here is to survive the divorce. So even though your spouse did a particular despicable act that immediately resulted in your decision to divorce, one of the best setups for surviving is to claim responsibility for the divorce. Choosing to no longer live together most likely resulted from consideration of several interplaying factors, and not just on that single act.
It could even be possible that that single act resulted from said factors, and there is a good chance that one of the factors has something to do with you. Your spouse may seem to be a bad fit for you, but, taking the flipside of the coin, you may not be a good fit for him or her either.
So take this opportunity of divorce and get something positive from it: use the time of coping as the time of improving your own self. Remaining on victim mode is not the way; being depressed will not push you to move on but just keep moping. Be more productive and do some soul-searching. Making improvements in one’s self can only end in positive results, which will really help you move on into a better future.
Concept 3: Focus on being happy and gaining more self-confidence.
The greatest fear involved in divorce is not being able to live it alone. This fear stems from a dejected sense of self, because ultimately in any divorce, there is some form of rejection involved: that you are not good enough to share a lifetime with. Step out of that box.
Evaluate your level of self-confidence after divorce, and if you are feeling some forms of insecurity about yourself, then take some firm steps in getting your self-confidence back.
Concept 4: Be aware and be practical about your finances.
The financial effect of divorce is especially felt by women rather than men. In a traditional society, most women are dependent, at least partly if not fully, on their spouses for their means to live. You have to remember that one of the things that will surely see a drastic effect after divorce is the money aspect of your life. You will most likely lose at least half of the income you’re used to.
This is one aspect you have to consider before actually deciding to divorce. If you are willing to trade your financial status for a divorce, then your choice is most likely well-thought-of, and there is a greater chance of survival in the next chapter of your life.
Concept 5: Practice projection before making the choice.
One of the mechanisms that can help you make the right choice when it comes to divorce is a form of visualization, and that is Projection. Here is the way to do it: try to see yourself in the future as a divorced person. What will your life be like?
What about that life that you are the having most trouble with, and which ones are giving you happiness? Which factors do you see in your future self are not making you live a happy life? And if the choice of divorce has been made already, the next step would be to ensure that those named factors are addressed and improved on, so that your survival will be assured.
Just like any major project in your life, your future survival after divorce can be assured with planning, reflecting, and thinking. It is possible.